♀ rukia's worLd

bye LoLa..

2008-07-30T04:15:00.000-07:00

i don't reaLLy know where to start..i feeL Like crying but i can't..aLot of things are going through my mind right now..wanted to say/write aLot of things 'bout how i feeL at this moment but it's way too personaL for anyone to read..i just feeL so Low eversince my grandma died Last monday..can't wait for tita dada and tita cora to come home..i just wanted to be around my famiLy..i can't seem to bring up the news with my friends..i just can't bring myseLf to answer their questions on what and how it happened..i just don't feeL Like doing anything at aLL!!! ♀

Letting time pass by..

2008-07-25T03:10:00.000-07:00

phones Lines have been crazy tonight and i'm not reaLLy in the mood to work..my grandma's stiLL in the hospitaL, she didn't show much progress over the past 4 days..everybody's been uptight, not to mention tired (physicaLLy, emotionaLLy, spirituaLLy).. but i'm reaLLy thankfuLL for aLL the peopLe praying for her recovery..everybody's optimistic, i just can't think of anything eLse but for her to get better..

i aLso dropped by my friend's wife who just gave birth the other day..she's just a fLoor away from my grandma's room..didn't stay too Long since i have to go to work..

during the start of my shift, i tried watching hancock over the net but then the queue just gets in the way and the buffering was taking forever, so i finaLLy gave up during the Last 26 minutes of the fiLm..i'd probabLy try to finish it tommorrow..

oh! i remember, yesterday i stumbLe on my cousin's bLog and was quite shocked on the things written..i know they're aLL growing up but just can't accept the fact that they encounter too much troubLe..i know it's reaLLy none of my business but i just can't Let my cousins screw their Life up or at Least get into too much troubLe..i miss them a Lot and i hope to see them again..topic of conversation wouLd be a probLem though..

anyway, i onLy have about 2 hours remaining before my shift ends..i reaLLy don't feeL weLL, i want to hit my bed..♀

outing in batangas..

2008-05-03T22:38:00.000-07:00

"Nasugbu, Batangas"

(May 02 - 03, 2008)

bad Lost..

2008-04-07T23:35:00.000-07:00

just came home after watching my pba team Lost for the second straight time..they Lost on their first game by a mere point..today, it was 2 pts..quite disappointing for the fact that they pretty much Lost due to a very bad free throw shooting..i feeL so down because i rareLy watch them pLay Live and they usuaLLy Lose whenever i do..

"see Link for the fuLL story: http://www.pba.ph/content/view/2051/2/"

makes me think now, if i'm somewhat a jinx to the team..haayz, too bad the tickets were free! weLL, have to move on..good thing, the season's just started..♀

being twenty-something..

2008-04-03T13:13:00.000-07:00

"this passage was forwarded to me by my former team mate..i was hesitant to read it first but was struck on the first few sentences..it reminded me on how my cousin wrote his bLog (he turned 21 Last year)..hope you'LL read on!"

"They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis". It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job...and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends...maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion....."
admit it! you're in this stage of your life too!

One day Love and Friendship met. Love asked Friendship: "Why do you exist if I already exist"? Friendship replied: "To put a smile where you leave tears." But Love snarled back: "Then why, in the first place, did you ask me to take over you? ♀

dinner out..

2008-03-28T23:15:00.000-07:00

Sedona Sunset and Maroon Five
"Class 2008"

we had our dinner/team buiLding at "Dad's/ Saisaki/Kamayan" at gLorietta maLL Last mar. 28, 2008..scheduLing the event was very hard since (as usuaL) we can't take our Leaves aLL at the same time..nothing much happened, but we definiteLy enjoyed the food and camwhoring (got the word from rhia and Leyn--ahaha)..♀

"Wacky pose"

hoLy week outing (mar. 21-23, '08)

2008-03-24T21:32:00.000-07:00

we went to mt. romeLo Last hoLy week (mar. 21-23, 2008)..it was actuaLLy my 3rd time and aLfie's 4th going there..together with us were his cousins, renier and kuya darwin, pLus their spouses racqueL and ate jo--of course not to forget jacq, a common friend..

caLL time was actuaLLy before 6am, but we aLready hit the road around past 7am..thanks to renier! ahaha..

it took us approximateLy 4 hrs. traveL before reaching sinuLuan and another 2 hours hike going to the camping site..

the usuaL commute was, of course draning and it was onLy jacq, courageous (and stupid--hehe) enough to carry her Load up to the camp site..gosh! bLess her..haha!! ours were brought by a rented horse, ahaha! as the saying goes "di baLe nang tamad, huwag Lang pagod!"..hehe

the pictures above were taken during our second stop..there's Like 3 or 4 stations actuaLLy where you can rest and enjoy the "unLimited buko suppLy"..

the pictures on the Left were taken on our third stop and in buruwisan faLLs (this was actuaLLy on our second day aLready)..it was actuaLLy a bit crowded because of the one's trying the repeLing..

"the pictures on the right were taken naman in Lansones..camwhoring to the max, even everyone's coLd--ahaha!!!"

my onLy regret from this trip was not being abLe to go back to my favorite pLace--"batya-batya".. weLL, aLL thanks to my ever caring bf..

he actuaLLy did not bother to wake me up because he assumed i was aLready too tired..but duh?! at Least Let me know naman where you guys are going di ba?! pero cge na nga bati napo tayo..ahehe!!

"syempre dapat may kanya-kanyang pang friendster primary photos..mga mountaineers kuno..with mga back packs pa yan as props! toinks!.."

"just before heading back home..ayaw paawat!! up to the Last minute, picture taking pa rin..weLL, the pictures on the Left were some rare group pics..thanks sarao!"

besides the bad news before we even got back home, everything was wonderfuL..over aLL, it's aLways a nice break from work..pLus the fact that we got to see and meet new and oLd faces..♀

haiLey's first birthday..

2008-03-01T21:38:00.000-08:00

"happy birthday haiLey nicoLe!!"

it was haiLey's first birthday, the party was done in izza's pLace..nothing much happened, we just hang-around their pLace and eat..

haiLey's growing up too fast, she's aLready dancing before she can waLk straight..she's becoming cuter by the day, hope she'LL stay sweet..♀

first anniversary..

2008-02-28T23:58:00.000-08:00

finaLLy! can't beLieve we're aLready together for a year!!! i'm not sure how to decribe how i feeL..it seems reaLLy cheezy if i write it down here, so i think i'LL just keep it to myseLf..haha!!

anyway, it was just so funny when he gave me fLowers..it was his first time to give roses to anyone..Like his effort though, i was quite shocked and i kept Laughing inside at the same time fLattered when i saw him with it..

we basicaLLy went out for dinner and movie, it was a bit formaL..i'm not sure why, we used to eat out and watch movie but this one's a bit formaL..haha! we're just both not sure how to ceLebrate an anniv, for this is both our first to even Last that Long in a reLationship..jeje!! Luv u bhie..♀

aLfie’s 24th birthday..

2008-02-17T06:44:00.000-08:00

just came from afie’s birthday party Last night..it wasn’t as grand as the usuaL, coz he didn't invite his troop..it was mostLy his co-teachers and famiLy..

i cooked carbonara for him and gave him a neckLace..i can’t reaLLy think of what to give him, i wanted it personaLized but have no time to make one..

anyway, we just ate dinner and sing karaoke songs the whoLe night with his cousins..nothing much but it was cooL! beLated happy birthday bhie..♀

foLLow-up 'bout reassignment to caLLs..

2008-02-03T23:28:00.000-08:00

honestLy, i don't even know where to start..i just feeL Like quiting my job!!! i'm not sure if this is just some sort of a test--to prove that i'm trying hard to break my oLd habits or what, but i'm reaching my Limits..good thing my parents passed me their stuborn genes..

i'm reaLLy out for words..i just want to scream and shout (**** off bitches!)..that's a start!!! anyway, as expected i'm stiLL stuck as a chat support representative (and i think this is where i'LL ever be, unLess i decide to Leave the account or resign--duh!)..know what, i just can't stand his presence! i don't bLame anyone for my fate (coz it was a mutuaL decision and aLL) but i can't heLp but avoid him coz i feeL Like crying and shouting in his face whenever i see him (very weird feeLing)..

i know he'LL noticed it sooner or Later but who cares, maybe i can just avoid him forever..anyway, i'm not reporting to him directLy anymore..aaarrrghhh!!! this is driving me insane..i'm trying hard to get aLong with my team mates but how can we form a bond if we don't even see each other reguLarLy (haha, ridicuLous!)..

i guess i'm being seLfish and aLL, i know it's aLready hard for them to find staffing for chat agents but why "me"?!? there's haLLuva new agents in the fLoor who wouLd die to stay in this account..c'mon, there must be another way!! duh--who am i kidding..better end this, i don't think i'm going anywhere..♀

re-assignment to caLLs..

2008-01-18T22:25:00.000-08:00

i sent my officiaL request to reassignment to caLLs to my former supervisor (im not sure how to address him anymore)..a Lot of peopLe might not understand my view but i'm reaLLy not happy with where i am..i'm not sure if im just pms-ing or what, but i'm reaLLy confused on where i stand..i used to Look forward to going to work than staying at home..now i want to be in neither pLace..

i feeL so stupid for crying for no reason (weLL, there's a reason) but i'm not sure why i waste my tears to such petty things..i'm not sure if it's just my ego or what..i don't reaLLy want to bLame others for my happiness, coz i beLieve it's a personaL choice whether you want to be happy or not..i guess i've been in my comfort zone for so Long and now it's hard for me to adjust..

weLL, he promised me to do everything he can to transfer me back to my oLd team but i'm just not counting on it anymore..i've heard his Lines for so many times aLready! so we'LL see..♀

recap..

2008-01-17T21:58:00.000-08:00

wow! i wasn’t abLe to meet my goaL for the nth time..i promised myseLf to update my bLog ever so often..nothing much happened anyway, but i’LL stiLL do my recap..

i spent my new year’s day together with my bf..i dropped by their pLace but his parents and sibLings were at his grandparent’s house, so i wasn’t abLe to greet them..then we headed to tita myra’s pLace as usuaL..food trip again (no wonder, i gained so much weight!)..

then i got my promotion Letter the next day, i feLt very fuLfiLLed for at Least meeting my goaL in a timeLy manner..the probLem is, where do i go from here?! i’m stuck in a smaLL account and there’s pretty much Less room for career growth..i’m stiLL debating whether to move from my comfort zone and tackLe the unknown or be more patient and stick with what i have..who knows?!

i cooked carbonara for my team mates and cLose coLLeague, as part of the tradition (Libre)..ahehe! then Last jan. 16, i met up with my hs friends at LittLe asia in greenhiLLs to ceLebrate my promotion and to catch up with what’s new with them..it’s been awhile since I was able to hang out with these guys! too bad it was a short notice for the guys, not aLL of them were enabLe to tag aLong..but aLL is weLL for most of us..

it's hard to trust peopL around you..

2008-01-13T23:54:00.000-08:00

i'm in the middLe of a diLemma..

i don't know whom to taLk to and the onLy person who i think wouLd understand the whoLe picture is thousands miLes away..

it's hard when the 2 peopLe you trust and respect most are doing or saying two different things about each other at the same time..

who wouLd you trust most? how wouLd you know who's teLling the truth? the thing that hurts me the most is that another friend's well-fare is at stake..

how wouLd you teLL a person you trust him more than the other without hurting the other party? without jeopardizing anyone’s career and friendship..

another problem, how would you teLL someone’s short-comings if that person is very dear to you and most probably, that’s the Last thing that person would Like to hear at the moment..

how wouLd you aLso Let go of something you’ve worked so hard for and give it up for something that is uncertain and unfamiliar?

how wouLd you deaL with aLL these thoughts and decisions at the same time?!? DAMN! it’s nerve-wracking!!!

sometimes i just want to sLeep and wake up after everything’s over..but that’s not how things happen..i know I have to deal with it one way or another, the question is how?!? . . .

my 23rd birthday..

2007-12-18T21:43:00.000-08:00

"hahaha..beLated happy birthday to me!"

it was quite a ceLebration..2 days in a row, i’ve fiLed my Leave on the 15th and 16th..aLfie and i went to Libis (bLue onion bar) on the 15th together with his ate aiLene, aLdrin, renier, kuya darwin, racqueL, ate jo, ate abby, and her bf..

i aLmot Lost my cooL and canceL the whoLe thing due to the pestering traffic in maniLa..dammit! i Left the house before 7pm and got in cainta at 10:30pm..the traffic was insane! i aLmost broke up with him..haha! poor guy..Luv him though, so i can’t Let him go!

so anyway, the crowd was great..we even ordered a shot per Liquor avaiLabLe in the menu--it was hiLarious! can’t even remember the taste afterwards..i was aLready tipsy by 3AM..we decided to hang-out in starbucks untiL around 4:30AM..then i spent a coupLe of hours in aLfie’s house before heading back home, can’t reaLLy remember how i manage to do that though..hehe!

i ceLebrated my birthday at home around Lunch time, or shouLd i say "my famiLy" ceLebrated my birthday around Lunch time (as i was stiLL sLeeping)..then my bf and i met up with my coLLege friends around dinner time..we just had dinner at mocha bLend and hang-out in starbucks (again)..

it was a bit formaL for our taste but since ceehj was not reaLLy in the mood to party (since she just found out that her bf’s cheating on her) and izza’s not reaLLy aLLowed to go to a bar by herseLf (as per her bf’s demand) it was a good excuse to catch up with each other..we spLit up around 1AM, since the coffee shop was aLready cLosing up..

i was supposed to go out for yet another dinner and coffee with my friends back home yesterday, but since they canceLLed, i just stayed home and had a harry potter movie marathon..

today, im back to work! so now, i’m officiaLLy oLd by my standards..sucks! as i got stuck-up at 21..seriousLy, i now start to forget my age..duh! signs of getting oLd--deniaL!!! ahahaha..

bLue wave ek..

2007-11-18T23:57:00.000-08:00

haha..sa wakas natuLoy din! this was the first and last team building of blue wave..being in a small account has its ups and downs..

one of the downside of it is the limitation of the number of people who can file a leave..but at last, we were able to finally have a team building! haha..

kitkat, was ever so excited and reminded us to be on time (10AM sharp)..guess who’s late?!? haha..anyway, we ate our lunch on the way to enchanted kingdom..start palang party galore na, we have too much budget (wehehe)..you’d think it’s our Last meal!!

there’s quite a crowd in the park so we were able to go onLy to a few (but major) rides..it was really refreshing after being so stressed at work for the peak season--it was a nice break!!

we’re about to go home when we decided to eat dinner in tagaytay.. damn! how i miss road trips!

after dinner we dropped by at cowboy’s griLL as there’s another party for the whoLe sfLy account..we’re so fuLL and tired though, so we just ended up using the bathroom and Left the party in an instant..

i feLt guiLty though for not being abLe to attend by bestfriend’s birthday party..but what i heck, i hate troubLe! hope he understands..

teacher’s camp..

2007-10-28T21:48:00.000-07:00

waah!! our trip to zambaLes..it’s actuaLLy teacher’s camp but my bf’s schooL principaL aLLowed me to tag along..the retiring room isn’t much but at Least the food was great..the host and the speakers were aLL interesting..i can’t reaLLy remember their names though..but they kept me awake the whoLe time, which is a good sign..

it was different from aLL the camps and seminars i’ve been into..i’m not even sure how to expLain everything i’ve Learned in their taLks..too much words are coming out of my head and i think it’s best to just keep them in there..haha!!

aLfie and i had a petty fight though on our second night in the camp, which got out of hand and i end up crying aLL night..i guess i aLso feLt guiLty for picking up a fight with him when he had just received a very good news (he just passed LET)..i tried to patched things up with him though first thing in the morning on our third day in the camp..

he gave me his bookLet with a message in it..i wanted to cry at that moment again, i never feLt so touched with the words he says, but that note was reaLLy something..i was aLso pLanning to put a note in my bookLet to give it to him before we head back home but he beat me to it, but i did it anyways..

the bus going back to their school was so Late, it was already around 3-4PM when we Left zambaLes..

with Luck on our side—the bus broke down..we got back in their house around past 12AM aLready..

his parents and sibLings were waiting for him and apparentLy as weLL as his party..we’re too tired to ceLebrate though, so we just sLept right ahead, his sister even asked me to sLeep in her room but i was reaLLy too tired from the traveL that i ended up sLeeping in their couch..

2007-08-15T03:15:00.000-07:00

i'm in the mood to rant..i know it's not my business to care about what other peopLe think but there's this "certain bLogger" that reaLLy gets in my nerve! i'm not gonna put his Link 'coz i don't want other peopLe to get hooked with his stuuppiidd ASS!!!

the nerve to judge and beLittLe middLe and Lower cLass peopLe, especiaLLy caLL center agents!!! yes, i'm a caLL center agent and PROUD TO BE ONE!! i have to admit, i used to reject any offer from this type of fieLd 'cause i thought it's for "no-brainers" as what other peopLe "branded"..but i'd have to say, that's far from the truth!! it's not easy Listening to venting and ranting customers EVERYDAY (of course don't be sarcastic, except for our day-offs)..you have to be physicaLLy, mentaLLy, emotionaLLy, pschoLogicaLLy, and spirituaLLy fit to Last in this kind of business..

makes me think that he's one of those peopLe who beLong to the "new money" cLass..so far, i've never seen any prominent, educated, and first cLass person as "judgmentaL and condemnatory" as he is..---- OFF BIATCH!!!

haiLey’s christening..

2007-06-02T22:47:00.000-07:00

nothing much happened, me and cj went to haiLey’s baptismaL earLier..bryan and jenet dropped by izza’s pLace during the reception..

benn was not too pLeased to see jenet, which sucks! i mean, she’s aLso ate ira and isha’s friend you know..when will his insecurities go away?!? i feLt sorry for izza and somewhat ashamed of her mom..how can they Let that guy run around their house Like that?!?

i know i shouLdn’t meddLe with their maritaL stuff but i can’t heLp it..it sucks because i can’t protect her Like when we were in coLLege..it’s reaLLy up to her whether she’LL stick with that guy..

ceehj’s 23rd bday ceLebration..

2007-05-06T22:55:00.000-07:00

the much awaited reunion of the tres marias had finally happened.. we ceLebrated cj’s 23rd birthday yesterday at phiLippine pLaza hoteL, where izza’s dad is working..aLfie, benn and haiLey tagged aLong..then bryan came around after dinner time aLready..

nag-night swimming kami and taLked about cj’s condition..i don’t reaLLy want to go into detaiLs but I sure hope she’d be abLe to overcome her situation..

after about an hour, we went back to our hotel room and as usuaL, tong-its session ever! i got to bed early as i’m too tired preparing the food and aLL..

it was nice being around my dearest friends again, it’s Like college aLL over again..

happy birthday ceehj!!!

ibm outing at puerto azuL..

2007-04-27T23:53:00.000-07:00

we attended the company outing in puerto azuL today..much to may disappointment though! start pa Lang bad trip na..epaL nung bus driver and attendants, dammit! we’re almost the first ones who got in the meeting pLace so that we’LL be in the beach early..but due to the stupidity of the attendants, the bus were we hitched was the second to the Last who Left the pLace..upon arriving we were given the food stubs and LuckiLy i Lost it..good thing the attendant beLieved me and gave me another one..don’t get me wrong i enjoyed the scenery and aLL but i reaLLy feeL bitchy right now..

the onLy good thing from that outing is that i’m with my team mates..picturan to the max nanaman..but besides that, it was a boring party..the band wasn’t great, the dance number sucks, and the crowd—bLah!!!

mountain cLimbing at mt. romeLo..

2007-04-10T02:25:00.000-07:00

i reaLLy don’t feeL Like working now..my whoLe body’s crying for bed, can’t move my thighs and it feeLs Like aLL my muscLes are twisted!! aargghh..

yesterday, we got back from a 3-day hiking/camping at mt. romeLo in Laguna..it was actuaLLy my first time to go hiking, which was fun but hate the aftermath..weLL, what do i expect--can’t remember when was the Last time i exercised..

anyway, i went to my bf’s pLace Last apr. 6 around 6AM, as it was the meeting pLace..he did not mention to me though that aLL his friends were maLe..i feLt out of pLace at first but they’re aLL very nice and accommodating..

the traveL from their pLace to mt. romeLo was aLready tiring..

it was about 3-4 commute in a jeepney and tricycLe (not very comfy)..

at first i was reaLLy psyche about the whoLe thing but after 30 minutes hike with the bag on my back, i’m ready to head home..

i’m not trying to be a prima donna but i was reaLLy out of breathe and i can’t keep up with those guys..so what they did was take turns in carrying my bag, which didn’t change the fact that the sun was taking aLL the energy out of me..

but LuckiLy got on the camping site after about 2-3 hours hike..we set up the tent and prepared for Lunch..the guys were aLready excited to go to aLL the faLLs around the mountain, i’m not! damn, i’m not wonderwoman--but i Let them be..

went to bed earLy and the next day (apr. 7), i was up to see the pLaces they’re most proud of..

we first went to "Lansones" as they caLL it--it was worth it!

you wouLd have to swim a LittLe to reach the mini waterfaLLs, which you can cLimb..on top of it has Like a mini bath tub with another waterfaLLs..

since me and my bf can’t swim, they cut a "baging" (the one tarzan uses to swing from one tree to another), which is reaLLy strong--then we try to hoLd onto it to get to the mini faLLs..i can’t get enough of the mini bath tub (as we caLL it)--it was so reLaxing..we headed back to the camping site after about an hour and a haLf..i was ready to rest but the guys decided to go to another site, "sampaLoc"..

even i was aLready tired, i tag aLong because i don’t want my bf’s friends to think that i’m an ass..but fatigue got into me--it was Like another 45 minutes hike to steep traiLs and my ankLes and knees are giving up..

they tried to crack jokes but didn’t work this time, they were not abLe to taLk to me the rest of the trip back to the camping site..

i took a nap as soon as i got in our tent, whiLe the guys wandered and mingLed with the other campers (inuman session na)..got up around 11PM to eat dinner, i was starving aLready..

the next day, the guys went to buruwisan faLLs, i did not tag aLong as i'm aLready worried if i can even go down the stupid traiL..they came back just before Lunch and we headed home after we ate..

we arrived at aLfie's pLace around 7PM--i didn't stay Long coz i reaLLy want to hit my bed..it was a fun experience, but i'm not sure if i'd Like to go through aLL that troubLe again though..haha!!

sfLy’s outing in Laguna..

2007-04-01T22:56:00.000-07:00

just got home from an out of town trip..our team, bLue wave together with the strawberry daquirie’s team had our team buiLding yesterday..we had an overnight swimming in a private pooL in Laguna..

since not aLL us know each other weLL, we basicaLLy stick with our groups..none stop picture taking while waiting for the rented van and kitkat’s ride..we hit the road around past 8AM..

there was no formaL scheduLe, so basicaLLy we just hang around, sing-aLong, food trip, and drinking session..i onLy had one bottLe, i’m not in the mood to get drunk and aLL..

probabLy the highLight of the event, was during the truth or dare thingy..when ate bing admitted that she admired kitkat, it was a bit hiLarious--i don’t mean to judge ate bing but it takes gut to do what she did and i’m proud of her! if i were my oLd seLf, i think i wouLd have done the same--good thing i’m not! i’m trying to stay away from oLd habits..so far, so good!

"ja, para Lang sirena ah!!"

"kantahan na!! go cher..este si jaja po yan.."

anyway, we went back reaLLy earLy (around 5AM, i think)..so that we can hitch a ride with kitkat, as there’s a coding..bummer as we weren’t abLe to buy any pasaLubong, i reaLLy wanted a buko pie!

haiLey's birth..

2007-03-02T21:50:00.000-08:00

wow! finaLLy, izza gave birth yesterday to a heaLthy baby girL..her name is haiLey nicoLe, the name haiLey came from the character in one tree hiLL..damn you ice, i wanted that name for my baby..hehe! but i’LL Let you pass..

anyway, ceehj and i dropped by at the hospitaL to check on ice and the baby's condition..aLL is weLL, just reaLLy can’t stand ice bff though..if i can heLp it, i don’t want the baby to carry his name..

i don’t know, if it wasn’t for ice--i wouLdn’t even try to be civiL around him..he better not hurt ice again, damn him--bastard!!

enough of that stupid guy! another diLemma on the way, ceehj thinks she’s pregnant..gosh! i’m not sure she’LL be ready for that and what--with her irresponsibLe bf..mind you, i’m not a man hater..it’s just that, i think my friends deserves better than the one they have right now..but yeah, i know--things happen for a reason..

i just hope, bry wouLd be abLe to take his responsibiLities if ceehj reaLLy is carrying something..

things happen..

2007-02-28T23:38:00.000-08:00

it’s a bit depressing because my favorite team in PBA (san migueL) just Lost the championship titLe of the season..i’ve been Looking forward to their victory especiaLLy now that the key pLayers of the team are aLL pLaying..

weLL, that’s the game..you win some, you Loose some!! but i’ve never feLt so down Like this..i’m not even sure what i just did, i think sinagot ko na si aLfie (ahahaha)!!!

as cheezy as it sounds, i feLt better when i received a text from him..i’m not sure if i'm ready to be in a reLationship right now..but what a heck?! i’ve been through much crazier situation..i’m not even sure if he’s serious with me, we’LL see..

the one that got away..

2007-01-24T22:36:00.000-08:00

***got this passage from a friend forwarded to him by our former HS teacher..quite long but hope you’LL read on--it’s reaLLy touching!***

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with...and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it’s that person with whom everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you’re single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."

by Kahlil Gibran

You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You’ll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that you’re already with the one you’re with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.
But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away."

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I’m thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone:

"Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away."

my Life in a caLL center..

2007-01-03T03:11:00.000-08:00

today is Jan. 3, 2007 at 3:11 AM!.. happy new year! it’s currentLy my Lunch break and i’m not feeLing so hungry so decided to write my thoughts in my new job..

it’s aLmost three months since i started in a caLL center..never thought that i’LL Last this Long, in fact i never thought that i’LL be working in one (hahaha), but hey--here i am! it’s not so bad after aLL; or maybe i am just Lucky enough to have a very Light account (according to my co-empLoyees who came from a different account)..it’s just too bad that i can’t see my friends in a reguLar basis!

to be honest, i’m very thankfuL to Him..because for some sort of reason--even we have a Lot of debts, we stiLL manage to go on and push through! i feeL Like He’s bLessing me more than the persons around me and i just feeL so fLattered..for instance, He aLways supported aLL my decisions in Life; right or wrong, smart or dumb--i aLways feLt His presence otherwise i might have cracked up!

right now, i’m having a bLast with my batchmates--Lahat kaLog! even our team Leader! actuaLLy a coupLe of our team Leads and their assistants inspire me..i’m not quite sure how do they handLe irrate customers, but it feeLs so good to know that you couLd actuaLLy grow in this kind of profession..

i’m not quite decided yet if i’LL reaLLy pursue a career in a caLL center but as of now im reaLLy contented..i stiLL want to study tv/movie making in the future (hopefuLLy sooner than Later) or go to US but just for a visit..

sentiments..

2006-09-21T22:35:00.000-07:00

it’s a warm evening..i don’t think that being "jobless" has already sink in my system, I’m still trying to stay positive and I’m counting on His grace and blessing though I know I have to make a move..it was a roller coaster ride for me ever since I graduated from college, too much drama has happened in my life lately..

hate to admit but I miss my ex-boyfriend, I don’t dwell over spilled milk but times like this that makes me stop and reflect on everything I did in the past..i don’t regret what happened but I do feel sorry for the both of us..not sure if he took me seriously and that what hurts the most, I know I had hurt him (or more like his ego) but don’t think what he did was fair neither..

its too bad it had to end that way, my friends are amaze on how I got to recover so fast..well maybe because I know that this is only a phase and everything happened for a reason..

if you could read this, I want you to know that you’ll always be special for me and that I do pray that you’ll find whatever or whoever you’re looking for..i also pray that sooner or later we’ll be able to face each other without grudge or bitterness in our hearts..

after everything was said and done, it made me realized that I’m back to scratch..what I’m doing right now is like taking a 360 degree turn..moving on with my personal life, career, etc. and who knows what lies ahead for me and my plans..

dcampjeng's Laguna outing..

2006-05-01T22:45:00.002-07:00

wow! the most awaited reunion..it’s reaLLy been different after coLLege, it’s very rare for us to see each other and quite impossibLe to do out of town trips..

this day was reaLLy speciaL, i miss hanging out with my friends..

we meet up at micheLLe’s pLace, caLL time was 5:30AM but as usuaL..Late comers wiLL aLways be Late comers!! we (micheLLe, nang2, gjhen, panggoy, pheng, champy, jing, ebe, and me) hit the road around 8:30AM aLready..

we basicaLLy Looked for a resort not too crowded..everyone was up for a swin since it’s been Like the hottest time of the day when we got there..i didn’t join them though ’coz i just got my hair rebond..

i just took care of the things and food..pLus try to heLp baby sit my bestfriend’s son..as much as i hate being Linked with my bestfriend, it’s inevitabLe..i’m not sure when wiLL the issue die but hope it’s soon..it’s aLready giving me creeps! i mean, i stiLL care for him--he’s my bestfriend, but ’cmon..it’s been Like 2-3 years ago! i moved on (beLieve it or not)!

anyway, we took a Late Lunch at ebe’s pLace..it was warm and windy--their rest house is on top of a hiLL..we then just tried to catch up with what’s happening with each other’s Lives..

we headed back home around 7PM to avoid rush hour..how pathetic though, what the heLL were we thinking?!? this is maniLa, it’s aLways traffic!!! i had a bLast though..it’s nice to have peopLe around you whom you’re comfortabLe with..

another sunday duty..

2005-09-18T15:45:00.000-07:00

another Sunday duty…hmmmm…

daming nangyayari ngayon sa buhay ko..
and I don’t even have time to stop and think for awhiLe..

dami kong namimiss na events..
dami kong namimiss na get-togethers..
dami kong namimiss na happenings..

i Love what i’m doing, but it seems Like it’s taking too much of my time..
i’ve been askin’ myself LateLy, “is it worth it?” ung mga gngawa ko?

is my job more important than my friends?
is my job more important than church service?
is my job more important than my promises w/ my sister?

i don’t know..i’m confuse..
it’s Like i’m screaming but nobody’s hearing it..
i wanna cry but no tears are faLLin’..

peopLe are aLL over me but I feeL so aLone..
i feel heLpLess..
but i know i’m not..

maybe i juz don’t know where to start..
maybe i’m juz too emotional..

puro MAYBEs..=(

my Life during sunday..

2005-09-04T16:01:00.000-07:00

haay, another tiring/boring day..it's been juz a month since i started z work ko and yet im getting bored aLready!!! i dont reaLLy know what's wrong w/ me..dont get me wrong, im ok w/ my saLary, i get aLong weLL w/ my co-workers, my manager is great and Love the customers..what more can i ask for?!?

dunno..it juz seems Like everyday is so predictabLe, "same oLd, same oLd"! wLang spice, nakakabagot and parang wLang chaLLenge..pLus the fact na puro OVERTIME! we aLwayz have to adjust our scheduLes, at first ok Lng..habang tumatagaL nakakaubos na ng Lakas..i cant even have time w/ my famiLy, friends and church..

it's either i juz need some time-off or i need a new job!!! haay..

outreach at cainta, rizaL..

2005-06-04T20:23:00.000-07:00

wow! it was a tiring but fun day..earLier i attended kuya dondon and pj's outreach..they supported at Least 100 schoLars from a schooL at cainta, rizaL..can't reaLLy remember the name of the schooL, but most of the kids came from Victory as weLL..the program started with pastor robert's bLessings, foLLowed by kuya don and pj's speech..then we had a bit of a game (bring me and trivia from the bibLe), wherein the prizes were bags donated by the fans of the 2 pLayers..

aLL the kids were so into it, we can't stop Laughing..some even cheat just to win one (ahaha!)..anyway, we had snack after a few minutes, which is sponsored by Regent (thanks Regent for the generous offer)..after eating, the schooL suppLies were distributed and picture taking and signing of autographs soon foLLowed..by the time the program ended, the rain was aLready pouring hard--good thing kuya don offered us a ride since pareho naman ng way..

kuya don and pj's bday ceLebration..

2005-05-28T23:42:00.000-07:00

today’s kuya dondon (28) and peter june simon’s (27-purefoods pLayer) birthday/fan’s day..

the party was reaLLy simpLe for micheLLe, kuya dondon’s friend was not abLe to prepare any program..the gathering was actuaLLy to coLLect donations for the upcoming outreach program of the two pLayers..

they are to support 100 Less fortunate eLementary and high schooL students in RizaL..we are fortunate to be abLe to raise just enough for schooL bags, notebooks, baLLpens, crayons, pads, ruLers, etc..

then kuya dondon asked us to group ourseLves in 5 teams and come up with the best cheering we couLd within 30 minutes..LuckiLy, our group won and we got ring side tickets for their upcoming game against aLaska..

after the game, we just ate merienda courtesy of JoLLibee (hehe) and the 2 pLayers pLayfuLLy answered personaL questions..it was sort of an ambushed interview, so it was aLL fun..

after eating, we were given souvenirs Like shirt and wrist bands with signitures..

it was very memorabLe, never thought i’d be abLe to chat with these pLayers up-cLose and personaL! can’t wait for the outreach..

see ya soon!!!

meeting DONDON HONTIVEROS for the first time..

2005-05-20T23:30:00.000-07:00

it's one of the most memorabLe day of my Life..my nakiLaLa me sa yahoo groups si ate mimie..

kanina nagkita kami and she invited me sumama with her sa Victory Christian Fellowship and we attended YOF (Youth On Fire) service..

i had a bLast especiaLLy dahiL nagtestify si kuya dondon..after the service, ate mimie introduced me to kuya dondon..

tapos nagchikahan kami ng konti, imagine kausap ko ng one-on-one si Mr. Dondon Hontiveros!

gosh! pag-uwi ko and hyper ko sobra! tinanong pako ni mama kung nag-drugs ako, hehe! ibang LeveL ako nun..hahahaha!!